I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
