y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
