Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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