I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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