Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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