I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I can text with my tongue
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
