She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
