I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
