I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
