Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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