i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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