Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Never underestimate the power of titties
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
