butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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