Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
