im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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