if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
