You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
