Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
