i can't believe i had my finger in that
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
