i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize