u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
