I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
