I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
