i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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