I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
