that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
