she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
my poor anus
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize