I'm so fucking centered right now
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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