please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
