Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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