Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
