she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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