oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
