its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Sorry about my life...
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize