My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
