I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You brought string cheese to the strip club
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
