tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
