some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
