she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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