Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
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