Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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