Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
