If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
