You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
