are you so shy because you have an std?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
And then the night went full on bisexual.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
