yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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