I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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