Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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