Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
We are two peas in an std pod
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
