i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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