when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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