Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I currently don't understand fingers.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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