i just wanna soil my oats bro
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
