I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
