Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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