Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
