My girlfriend figured out who you are.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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