Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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