hell yes lets make some ravioli
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
