So drunk its hurt
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Sext me about skeletons
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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